Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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