Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
