It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
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The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
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