We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
