Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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