Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
