It's Friday. Sex?
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize