are you so shy because you have an std?
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
