I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I want to fling myself into the sun
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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