I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Randomize
