My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
