so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
