Define "chronic" masturbator.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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