Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
