He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
