There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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