a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
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