you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
