He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
