Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
how do flat chested girls get laid?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
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