Having a random hookup so left but love u
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Girls should come with a carfax report
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Randomize
