Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
