All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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