whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize