i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
