I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
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