I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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