insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
