Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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