If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
