you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
bring money and cleavage
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Bring me that man meat
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
