Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
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