lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
we have officially lost it.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize