i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
