Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
