So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
