lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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