help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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