her vagina looked like bernie madoff
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Randomize
