Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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