I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Just high enough for therapy.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
