oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
