Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize