70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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