ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
