never play flip cup with pint glasses
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
