$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Randomize
