What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
