I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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