im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
