you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
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