It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
