Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Randomize
