when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
