I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
