Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize