Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
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