I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
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