I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
