Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
