Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
