just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
My dad is sitting where you rode me
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
